Benign. Benign. Benign.

Praise the LORD! The nurse called this morning to let me know that all three biopsies looked clear. It seemed like just another normal part to my day, except for the few tears of relief and deep sighs that came from my full heart and lungs - that continue to come when I share.

I'm breathing fully again. Has someone been sitting on my chest these past couple days? I had the most difficult time falling asleep into my nap yesterday. As many times as I said, "I trust you, LORD. Your will is best." I could not shake that my derm had not called and I did not know the results. Eventually I did drop off and had a dream about being the teacher of an out-of-control classroom. (pre-season schoolteacher jitter dreams, which have also shown up with this whole not-being-able-to-have-control-over-cancer or death or life . . .)

I awoke from my nap and called the office around 5pm to ask if it was possible I would hear back from Ann (my dermatologist) later that evening. She said either that or early the next morning. Somehow hearing that helped me sleep a little better. And phone calls/prayers from my two brothers yesterday helped me put into perspective that truly God does know best. I know that your prayers and your words of hope and life and truth have been carrying me. Thank you. I walked in peace and truth, and I slept all the way through the night with very little fear.

You know the feeling of coming out of a roller coaster loop and catching your breath, realizing you can see the horizon again? Thrilling. Refreshing. Revitalizing. "Thank you, God, that Your purposes on earth for me right now don't include another round of melanoma-kicking. Thank You for being my horizon, my constant. My life."

I will continue to live in faith and hope that there was melanoma in me, and now it is gone forever. Beginning of story.