Last night (Monday evening) marked a week since I took my final chemo injection - for hopefully ever. Each night I would have given myself an injection (Wednesday, Saturday, Monday), I have caught myself preparing my mind just before bed to grin and bear it. Last night, for example, I was in the kitchen about to open the refrigerator to begin the routine. I stopped and just let the cloudiness of the year blow away again.
There have been silver linings to these clouds, some intensely beautiful. But the existence of the clouds became my normal. As I have walked through this week, the realities of the "old normal" have been gradually coming back. Pretty full. I think I'll journal it on my own, sharing bits and pieces on this blog.
What a journey. How long it will take to find my new normal I don't know. Maybe I'm already at it? My biggest desire in this new season is to know God in health and in energy, and especially in the mommy moments to rely on Him when I don't "feel" weak. This new energy I have is rushing into my days in crazy fullness. Part of me wants to tackle the world, but . . . it's beginning to look a lot like flu season, everywhere we go . . .
It's okay that this October season just happens to already be "sick season" for kids in our area (and probably in your area too), so we're home most of the time just lovin' on each other. May you know His peace, presence, and provision in your day.
In quietness and confidence in Him is our strength.
*from Isaiah 30:15
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